But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
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Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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