I heard we made out
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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