she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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