she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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