I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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