either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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