im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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