got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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