I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize