Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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