Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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