I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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