You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize