I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
can u get pink eye on your cock?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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