do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
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I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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