I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize