When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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