we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize