Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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