why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize