i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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my nose is crying tears of wow.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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