how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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