i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize