oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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