So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize