I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize