I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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