I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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