I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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