In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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