got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize