The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
