you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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