I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize