I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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