WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize