so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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