Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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