i just had sex bonerless
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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