i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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