My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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