Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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