We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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