After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize