i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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