I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize