The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
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She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
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I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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