At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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