That's intense
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
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Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
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Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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