atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize