just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize