this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
pray to the hookup gods
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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